She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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