are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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