1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
