Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
