we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
