I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
