I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
What a dumb baby whore.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
