i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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