Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
