It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
