I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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