why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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