shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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