Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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