I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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