he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
All I want is dick and wine.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
