May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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