Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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