at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
