Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
