He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
