She said her name was "party"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
