So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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