Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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