You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
