So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
