I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize