she was so not down for the gang bang
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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