He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
