at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
