did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
