I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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