ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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