I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
