White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
