i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
