so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
