Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize