I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Everything about him screamed your future.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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