So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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