Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
it's like iHOP with fire
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
3pm strippers are depressing
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
