Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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