He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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