Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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