He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
