shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
