NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
