Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
