i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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