No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I will be naked everywhere
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
