I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
