LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I have aggressive nipples.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
