"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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