You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
