Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
