Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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