but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize