very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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