dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
