Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
