it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
