This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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