I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
