just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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