how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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